No Place I'd Rather Be . . .

Live in the present. Maybe that is what Lyle had in mind when he said,

We miss you friend . . . But, we will live right here, right now conspiring goodness for others.

Remembering Not Over . . . Even If Regular Posting May Be

For the last month I took the time to read back through nearly all of Lyle's posts from his blog. I managed to highlight one post a day for nearly every day.

The experience has been enjoyable. Occasionally I fought back tears as I remembered. One of Lyle's younger friends, John Elam, once remarked to me about how our minds work. He said once a person has thought something they cannot erase it. I believe John would say he heard that from someone else or synthesized another's thought.

Whatever the case, once a person has entered our sphere, our world, we do not forget. Our remembering goes on. And, I know not only will my remembering go on but so will all those who shared life with Lyle along his way.

Five Years . . . Hard to Believe

Eleven days from now will mark five years since Lyle suffered a fatal heart attack. Lyle chose the title for his blog after beginning his trek through Dallas Willard's Divine Conspiracy. I am going to re-post some of Lyle's thoughts for at least the next month over on my website. You may expect and "Introduction" to the series tomorrow.

Thinking of Lyle watching Will

We had not been over to Lyle and Evette's many times. I think we went over to watch an OU game. After the game Lyle wanted to watch, The Best of Will Ferrell. Some of the clips made Evette think, "Lyle, this is our pastor and his wife!" We laughed and laughed. I still remember that laugh we reflected on nearly two years ago - that laugh that seemed to emanate from deep in the belly. Lyle's body would shake.

Today I stayed home. Despite telling Patty I did not feel too bad, she thought it unwise to subject everyone that would be in the office today to the high fever I fought last night. On Tuesdays and Thursdays our Children's Day Out meets. We have received numerous calls over the past few weeks noting someone's child was still battling the flu. Whether or not is was the flu may be debatable. What is not is the need to keep from potentially exposing children and workers just because I sometimes feel overly compelled to push it.

I caught up on some reading and writing. I had been slow posting a series on the selected title for my blog. A proposal I noted I would accomplish some time ago. I offered a post on what it was like to feel good and then suddenly be hit with a fever reaching above 104. I remembered the SNL skit with the Blue Oyster Cult and Will Ferrell. The line that came to mind, "I have a fever and the answer is more cowbell." So, in memory of my late friend and his love for laughter I posted a clip on my site.

It would have been funny to watch this one with Lyle.

Providing the Balance

I have been listed as a contributor on this blog for quite a while now, but have not posted anything until now. I am a believer in the old addage "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." I am a believer in it, but not very good at practicing it. I just happen to be extra careful when it comes to group blogs. I have to say that I have been thinking about Lyle the last couple weeks. I have been wondering if I would be where I currently am theologically, if I still had Lyle to bounce things off of. Lyle always provided a good balance for me as I tend to jump in with both feet. He was usually there to offer a hand back out of the deep end and always without making me feel like the "greenhand" that I was. I always respected Lyle's experience. He had "been there and done that" with most of the theological wandering I was / am doing. I wonder if I would be as theologically liberal as I am right now if I still had Lyle to bounce things off of. I also wonder if I am as theologically liberal as I feel like I am. Lyle was often my counterweight on these issues. I hope I can someday help disciple someone in as kind and calm a manner as Lyle helped me.

Unfinished life

My grandma mentioned tonight that my dad had been building shutters for someone right before he died, and the other day she came across everything that he had had laid out in the barn. So many more things were left unfinished…

The week after Dad’s passing, he and mom were supposed to have started planning for their retirement through the fire department.

One time while at a craft show with Mom, Dad had seen a tire swing that looked like a horse saddle. He wanted to buy it, so that maybe by the time he was a grandpa, the trees on our land would be big enough to hang a tire swing on.

Like Todd said at the service, Dad’s death came too soon. I think that’s okay to say. I think now we are realizing more and more the things that were left unfinished, everything from shutters to time spent with family and friends…

Memorial

Today we went to the Fallen and Living Firefighters Memorial Service at the firefighters' museum to honor Dad.

The fire department has been amazing since we lost Dad, and they have considered his death one of "in the line of duty." For the memorial service, his name was listed under "supreme sacrifice," along with other Oklahoma firefighters who have died in the line of duty. He is also listed on the wall of fallen firefighters, and we got to do a pencil sketch of the engraving.

The grounds of the museum and the memorial wall are beautiful, and the Oklahoma State Firefighters' Association put on a moving, honoring service. It really is one big family, like they say...