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Monday, April 04, 2005

April Fool

I don't know why it is, but if I were superstitious I would think that April is always a bad month for me.

Baseball starts, but when I was a kid I always started out on the B team, had to work my way to the A team, even if I was an all star the year before. Usually played on the team with no uniforms, like in "Sandlot".

Some people close to me have died in April, from my earliest youth to adulthood.

Several tragedies have occurred in April. The Titanic sank, Murrah bombing, Lincoln Assasination, Waco standoff, Columbine and many other tragedies. Sorry for being so morbid and random.

Tax time is in April, so April is always brutal. Business is always tight or cash flow rather.

Sometimes it rains in April... too much some times.

I was wondering why I have not been sleeping lately...oh yeah, it's April. I know it sounds ridiculous and I am sure my negative feelings will bring on some of my own problems this month. So I will try to not think of me.......but then there are the bombing victims, the Columbine victims, the Pope passed away ( he is not my Pope, but was still a good Pope I guess)..........feels like April to me.

I know as a Christian I should be writing inspirational messages of how Christ can overcome, and this I do know. But right now I feel like I am in the valley. And I am pretty sure I don't doubt God, maybe I am doubting myself, like the preacher said Sunday. Sometimes we suffer because we are human, it is part of life. Now that I think about it God has always been faithful (even though I may suffer), as well as my community of believers (friends) who has been faithful......... even in April.


Anonymous Kandi Link said...

Lyle - It is interesting that you made this comment, I didn't realize that others have the same feelings about April. I do not look forward to April, even if my birthday is this month. Cameron will have been gone for 3 years on the 27th, I lost my best friend, 2 classmates and another friend during this month.

I to doubt myself, but always find God's Grace providing me with the strength to overcome the doubt. He has been very faithful the last three years and continues to bless me with grace and mercy.

Your blog has made me want to look at these first 5 days and recognize some blessings, for which I need to thank God. So far I have started the month by enjoying a ride on the bike with Aaron, watching the girls take a nap together on the sofa, witness Corey being ordained as a Deacon, and begin the planning of the playground at church in Cameron's memory.

You may feel that it was not inspirational, but to a fellow believer who has the same feelings about April, you have been an inspiration. Thanks for the blog. -Kandi

1:11 PM  
Blogger Lyle said...

Great news about Corey. Even as I type this I see God moving in my situations to make them more tenable, even enjoyable. I remember the time of year with Cameron and thinking another tragedy to add to my list. Easter is usually in April, but I am guilty like many of focusing on the Crucifixion more than the Resurrection, feeling guilt more than victory.

I know I never say it but your family is a blessing to mine and what i meant by community of believers. May God's peace be with your family this month as we remember....

2:32 PM  

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